It is typical for a man to marry without knowing how to talk to his wife.

Some men don’t know that their wives need intimate communication. Often a man is completely unaware of his wife’s sensitive nature. He doesn’t know that things he considers trivial can be extremely important to her – things like anniversaries and holidays. Nor does he realize why such things are special to her, so he is unable to meet her needs.

Many women step into marriage equally handicapped. They don’t realize that a man generally relies on reasoning than intuitive sensitivity. If both husband and wife lack the vital knowledge and skills to meet each other’s needs, their needs will go unmet.

One of the greatest psychiatrist of our time, Dr. Karl Menninger, said that when our basic needs are not met, we move in one of two directions. We either withdraw in “flight” or turn to “fight”. The woman who takes the “flight” approach is not escaping her problems. As she runs, she begins to doubt her self-worth. On the other hand, she takes the “fight ” approach, she may become an unattractive nag to her husband.

I believe the ideal marriage evolves when the wife concentrates on meeting her husband’s needs, and the husband concentrates on meeting his wife’s needs. That combination builds the lasting qualities of relationship.

What are your needs?
How good are you at recognizing your spouse’s needs or your own? Below is a list of needs Which ones are his needs? Which ones are hers? Which do you both share?

1. I need you to understand me.
2. I need you to listen to me without trying to solve problems.
3. I need for us to spend time together as a couple.
4. I need you to nag less.
5. I need you to say ” I love you”.
6. I need to pray with you.
7. I need to talk about stuff so I know what I think.
8. I need to think about stuff on my own.
9. I need physical touch.
10. I need you to be more spontaneous about sex.
11. I need you to remember special occasions.
12. I need a weekend away with you.
13. I need more sleep.
14. I need you to help around the house.
15. I need you to open up more.
16. I need more alone time.
17. I need you to travel less.
18. I need you to go to bed when I go to bed.
19. I need you to take care of your health.
20. I need you.

May you take time out together to go through this much needed devotion, to build a strong marriage.