Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3: 22,23)

When we married, we vowed to stay together “for better or for worse.” But how many of us actually knew what that meant when we said our vows?

We imagined the “better” as romantic walks on moonlit nights, sharing a biryani and a movie, kissing in the kitchen. Those things were fun to think about.

But what about the “worse”? Did we imagine online affairs, secret addictions, blatant animosity? What if your spouse says, “I don’t want to go to church anymore, I only went with you while we were dating, because I didn’t want to lose you”? That’s hard to think about, yet sadly it’s something that many people deal with.

In Boundaries in Marriage, Dr. Henry Cloud says that the reality of every marriage is that the person you love the most and have committed your life to, is an imperfect being, guaranteed to hurt and fail you in many ways, sometimes seriously.

The question is, what do you do about it? Do you kick your spouse to the curb? Issues threats and ultimatum? Drag your spouse onto the stage of a daytime talk show?

Throughout scripture, Israel is depicted as God’s wayward bride, always wandering, always committing adultery with other gods. Yet God never completely severed the relationship. He stood by while Israel suffered the consequences of her sin, but he continued to love her and continued in his willingness to forgive. He pleaded with her to return to Him -“Return, faithless Israel… I will frown on you no longer, for I am faithful” (Jeremiah 3:12) and “Return, faithless people… for I am your husband.” (Jeremiah 3:14)

Here in Lamentations 3:22-23, the prophet Jeremiah looked to the Lord’s great love, compassion and faithfulness even in the aftermath of the destruction of his nation.
When things go from better to worse in marriage, Cloud says that nothing has to permanently destroy a relationship. “No failure is larger than grace,” he writes.

No hurts exists that is beyond forgiveness or that “love cannot heal.” He says that hardness of heart, much more than failure, is the true relationship killer. When things go wrong in marriage, we are called to forgive as the Lord has forgiven us (Colossians 3:13). We can do this by remembering that no sin (besides blaspheming against the Holy Spirit) is beyond God’s forgiveness, and thus no sin is beyond our forgiveness (Mark 3:28-29).

When failures enters a marriage, its better to choose to heal the relationship than to satisfy the need to be right, or get even. Because of God’s great love and faithfulness, we can do whatever it takes to work through even the “worse” that comes our way.

LET’S TALK

• How have the two of us dealt with failure in our marriage?
• What did we do right? What did we do wrong?
• If we could do it over, how would we change the way we handled it?
• Could my hardness of heart be as much of a barrier to healing as some offense you may have committed against me?

Hope this devotion helps in bringing healing and restoration of oneness, forgiveness, peace, and joy into marriages! God bless your marriage!