Computers and the Internet are a mixed blessing. Few people doubt their potential benefits. But they also pose a serious question to us as parents.

How do we teach our children to communicate safety online?

The Internet can offer an escape from reality. With its easy accessibility, potential for anonymity, secrecy and lowering of inhibitions, it also offers a dangerous sense of intimacy with strangers. Surfing for information, online relationships, computer games and using chat-rooms can all become obsessive and unhealthy.

IAD (Internet Addiction Disorder) is now a recognized disease. A recent study showed that more than one in eight showed signs that they could be suffering from some form of Internet addiction.

So how do we help children to use computers and the Internet safely and constructively?

Here are some ways of controlling and monitoring computer content below:

1. Content filters should be on (eg. Google safe search settings). This stops the computer receiving anything with explicit sexual references.
2. Use an ISP (Internet Service Provider), which filters and classifies content and allows parents to set controls. It explains how to block access to inappropriate sites.
3. Monitor browsing history and temporary Internet files, in order to see what sites children have been visiting. (For teenagers, this should only be done after discussion as otherwise this could undermine trust).
4. Check the recycle bins. A sure sign that something may be up is if the recycle bin is empty, and the browsing history and temporary files have been deleted. This cannot be done accidentally.
5. If viewing inappropriate sites has become a problem, install a program like Covenant Eyes, which sends you a monthly list of all the websites visited on that computer. Tell your children it is in place. It will help them to be accountable to you.
6. Have spam files automatically deleted so they cannot even see unsolicited mail.

INTERNET SAFETY

1. Be involved – discuss and share your concerns. Let your children tell you what they feel about computer use.
2. Be informed – keep up-to-date through websites such as blogsafety.com that advice on safe social networking.
3. Be consistent – as parents, agree on the rules first.
4. Be adaptable – the goalposts in this area are moving very quickly.
5. Be computer literate – learn at least the basics for monitoring computer usage if you don’t already know.
6. Be discreet – do not read what they write privately to friends unless you have cause for concern.

Our aim is to help develop self-control, so they learn to monitor their own usage. And the very process of tackling these subjects with them can help to build a relationship of trust between us.