Song of Solomon 1:1-16

Once Pastor Adrian Rogers asked a marriage counsellor what percentage of marriage problems are rooted in communication. He said 100 percent. If you trace the problem back, it began somewhere with poor communication. You have a choice when you marry – either communicate or disintegrate. And this love poem we call the Song of Solomon shows two lovers communicating. What we’re really hearing is the music of marriage. Notice three things about their conversation.

1. PLENTIFUL
   Almost 60 percent of the verses in the Song of Solomon are words that spoken between these lovers. It’s obvious that they miss the sound of the other’s voice when they’re separated. Sometimes it seems that when our marriages get older and we get colder. We stop talking. Husband and wife, you must make time to talk.
   
2. PERSONAL
   Oh, they say some very intimate things to one another. She has a name for him- “my beloved.” He has pet names for her too – “my love” and “my dove.” Do you know that these little pet names are ways of saying to your mate, “You’re special. You are one of kind. I don’t use this name for anybody else.” Everybody needs to feel unique – like you are number one and no one else can take your place. Husband and wife, whisper those names in each other’ ears. You may be surprised what happens.
   
3. POSITIVE
   There is not one negative word or critical remark in this book. In fact, it’s full of compliments. These lovers had flaws, like the rest of us, but their words are affirming. There can be no intimacy without acceptance. And if you are critical and negative, it’s sign that you have not accepted the other person. Many times, we can’t be intimate because we’re afraid to expose ourselves. We’re afraid we’ll get criticized.

These lovers are so free in their communication. One is free to give without embarrassment. The other is free to receive without resentment. You say, “I can’t talk that way.” Well, I don’t imagine Solomon could without working on it a little bit. These words just didn’t come out. He learned to affirm.

Read some of the stuff in these passages, and it will make you blush. But it’s not X-rated. It’s there by divine inspiration to give us a model for marriage, an illustration of how husbands and wives are to talk one another. The words of this loving couple are plentiful, personal, positive, and passionate. That is the marvellous goal that God has given for communication between husbands and wives.