Are there ways we can protect our children from unhealthy levels of stress? Can we help them to handle stress well in a stress-driven culture? As parents we can and we must, not least through our example, as they will absorb what we model. So, the following tips are as much for us as for our children.

1. Avoid perfectionism.
2. Create enough space for relaxation.
3. Talk to children about their fears.
4. Help your children to have a healthy view of success and failure.
5. Think about how you praise.
6. Ask open questions.
7. Keep adult conversations for adults.
8. Change the behavior not the child.

Over the coming weeks we will be studying in a little detail on each tip. This week we will be looking into the first tip – avoid perfectionism.

We’re in a danger of creating a society hamstrung by perfectionism where the “successful” pay a heavy price in terms of their emotional health, and the “unsuccessful” are socially excluded.

Teaching our children to accept a balance of success and failure, rather than expecting to achieve perfection in everything, is essential for their emotional health. In order to check our expectations as parents, we should ask ourselves what our own goals and priorities are for them. Are their health and happiness more important to us than academic, sporting or social achievements? Are we more concerned about them building relationships than achieving great results? Would we rather have an unkind child in the top class or a kind child in a lower stream?

We can easily want to be the ‘super-parent’ and unwittingly put unrealistic expectations on our children – to be more academic, more sporting, or more sociable than they are naturally.

Children are hyper-sensitive to their parents’ expectations, and by and large want to please them. We should avoid making comparisons between siblings, or with other children of their own age. Otherwise we can leave our children feeling they are not good enough, and that they are not loved for who they are. Keep reminding them that all you expect is that they will do their best.

Hope this first tip will help us to honestly introspect on our parenting responsibility, and be teachable to change where needed, to raise Kingdom kids.

Keep looking out for the next tips in the coming weeks!