Owner or Ambassador?

We will look at the first area of distinguishing between the two styles.

1. IDENTITY: where do you look to find your sense of who you are.

OWNER: Owner parents tend to look to get their identity, meaning, purpose, and inner sense of well-being from their children. Their children tend to be saddled with the unbearable burden of their parents’ self-worth. Parenting is a miserable place to look for our identity, if for no other reason than the fact that every parent parents sinners. Parents who are looking to their children for identity tend to take their children’s failures personally, as if they were done against them intentionally, and respond to their children with personal hurt and anger. But the reality is that God simply does not give you children in order for you to feel that your life is worthwhile.

AMBASSADOR: Parents who approach parenting as representatives come to it with a deep sense of identity and are motivated by meaning and purpose. They don’t need to get that from their children because they have gotten it from the One whom they represent – the Lord Jesus Christ. Because of this they are freed from coming to their children hoping that they will get from them what no child is able to give. They are freed from asking family life to give them life, because they have found life and their hearts are at rest. Because of this, they are now freed to forget themselves and parent with the selflessness and sacrifice that ambassadorial parenting requires.

Next week we will be looking at the second distinguishing factor. Till such time let us ponder and introspect on the IDENTITY part.