A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver. (Proverbs 25:11 ESV)

Let’s face it. Sometimes we’re just grumpy. Things didn’t go well with our boss or our kids. We had to fight traffic on the highway or in the car parking not finding a place to park. A coworker said something unkind, and we’re having trouble shaking it off. We walk through the door, and the last thing we want to do is talk about it. So we sit in a funk and glower at everyone. Our spouse reaches out, and we stonewall them.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”

The danger with this response is that our spouse might assume they’re the problem. That they’ve unknowingly done something to upset us, and we’re mad at them.

Instead, if we use these two simple sentences, which have power – “my bad mood has nothing to do with you” and “I just need a little time to process”. These words give the grumpy spouse space to work through their emotions and frees those around them from unnecessary concern.

I wonder if Solomon had grumpy people and their concerned loved ones in mind when he penned the words of Proverbs 25. Like a wise father, he offers several useful tidbits of advice regarding our words: talk directly to the one with whom you have a grievance (v.9), don’t tell secrets (v.9), and use soft words to transform difficult situations (v.15). Verse 11 however, best captures the power of carefully chosen and wisely timed words.

ONE STEP CLOSER

• When you’re in a bad mood, are you more likely to vent or clam up?
• If you’re a clam, what effect might it have on your marriage if you used the words mentioned above, or something similar, the next time you don’t feel like talking?
• If you vent, how could you apply the principle of Proverbs 25:11 to help you choose your words carefully and speak directly?