As parents we can say things to our children that will affect how they think about themselves for the rest of their lives.

Our words also have the power to crush. The way we talk to our children can become a habit – for good or bad. We can easily become fixated on our children’s failures, mediocrity or irritating behaviour. We go on… and on… and on about these, instead of seeing their uniqueness and good points. In fact such criticism may well spring from our own problems – for what is going on inside of us. We are feeling inadequate. We are desperate for others to be impressed by our children. We are feeling stressed. But if we only speak negative, critical words to them they will grow up feeling insecure.

The psychologist Professor John Gottman asserts that, for every one critical comment from their parents, children need at least five positive comments. We will look at four ways we can use words positively to keep filling up our children’s emotional tank to ensure they feel loved. We will be doing this over few weeks.

They are:
1. Words of affection
2. Words of comfort
3. Words of praise
4. Words of affirmation

We will be meditating on each of these in detail over the coming weeks. Keep looking forward to learn and unlearn the kind of words that we use towards our children.

Q. Try counting the number of positive and negative comments we make to our children today. Is the ratio at least 5:1 (positive to negative)?

PRAYER: Lord, help us as parents to be wise and careful in our comments and the words we use towards the children you have trusted and given us, to be stewards over them. Help us to remember that they are created in your image and they are precious to you. In Jesus’ name, amen.