10 Emotional Needs in Marriage

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

5. HONESTY AND OPENNESS
Honesty and openness gives us a sense of security. When a partner shares their innermost thoughts and feelings, becoming vulnerable, they give a precious gift to their partner. It is no surprise that women tend to need honesty and openness more than men.

If you feel especially loved when your partner shares their soul with you, becoming vulnerable, you have a need for honesty and openness.

Tied to intimate conversation, honesty and openness take the need to a whole new level covering many topics. Very simply, there can be no secrets between husband and wife. Anytime I come accross a partner talking about their privacy and needing their own space, I know the marriage is in serious trouble. They are trying to hide something past, present, or future. Such secrets drive a wedge between the partners. How can any person fully trust another person when there are secrets?

Dr. Willard Harley, Jr. suggests a policy of radical honesty. Radical honesty includes:

1. Emotional Honesty – reveal your thoughts, feelings, likes and dislikes, especially regarding your spouse’s behaviour.
2. Historical Honesty – reveal everything about your past, (but be cautious, it should not disturb your marriage), especially as it pertains to your weaknesses and failures.
3. Current Honesty – reveal information about your day, calendar, and activities, especially that pertains to your partner.
4. Future Honesty – reveal full details about your future plans and goals.

Such honesty is rare today. When we date we tend to put our best face forward. That’s fine for an initial meeting, but afterward, you cannot continue misleading your potential partner. If you married this person and still have secrets or things you don’t want them to know, now is the time to share that information. Simply by holding back, your partner knows there is something. That uncertainty leads to questions and doubt. Doubt and uncertainty have a way of building walls between people. The only solution is radical honesty.

ACTION ASSIGNMENT
Lets us apply honesty and openness in our communication and build a stronger marriage. Let us honestly introspect where we lack radical honesty in our marriage and, work in those areas, with the grace of God.

PRAYER: Lord, help us to be honest and open in our marriage. Help us to be radically honest with our spouse. In Jesus’ name, amen.