Beyond Discouragement, Anger and Resentment to Forgiveness

Every marriage has its share of relational misunderstandings and mistakes, clashes and cold shoulders, sharp words and shouting matches that result in pain. And sometimes it’s more like a head-on collision causing major damage – such as betrayal, unfaithfulness, or abuse. It doesn’t matter how deeply you or your spouse love each other, conflict and hurt at some level are inevitable. It’s not a question of if, only when.

So what do you do when it happens? How do you respond? Many of us are clueless about how to resolve marital breakdowns. Why? Because no one taught us how to do it. Healthy conflict resolution was not modeled in many of our homes as we grew up.

THE PATH TO FORGIVING LOVE
First, we need to come to grips with the reality that we cause pain to each other from time to time. It may not be intentional, and we may not even be aware of when it’s happening. But it happens in the day-to-day course of our life together through what we say or fail to say and through what we do or fail to do. Both of us are responsible for that. We are both victims and culprits in the marital pain we experience.

Second, we need to know what to do when the inevitable conflicts and pain occur in our marriage. Conflicts must be resolved. Offenses must be confessed and forgiven. Hurts must be healed. The Bible has a plan for working through marital door dings, fender benders, and head-on collisions. We both need to internalize that plan until it becomes second nature.

Third, we need to put God’s plan into practice when conflict and hurt happen in our marriage. Knowing what to do isn’t enough. Warm feelings and a positive attitude about our spouse are insufficient. Good intentions won’t cut it. Even prayer won’t accomplish everything, though it is the essential starting place. Here’s the biblical plan.

We will teach you build what we call Forgiving Love into our marriage relationship. We will learn how to resolve our conflicts – great and small – before they accumulate and grow into a wall between us. We will guide you through a process that will help us heal emotional wounds before the gangrene of distance and disconnect poisons our marriage. As Forgiving Love becomes a daily expression in our life together, we will take major steps toward strengthening our marriage.

We will look at it in our next week Couples Devotion.

ACTION ASSIGNMENT
This week let us introspect how much of Forgiving Love is in operation in our marriage. Let us consciously practice it in our marriage.

PRAYER: Dear Lord Jesus, you are our model for Forgiving Love. You loved and forgave us while we were still sinners. Yours is an unconditional love and forgiveness. Help us to be little Christs in our marriage. In Jesus’ name, amen.