Let marriage be held in honor. (Hebrews 13:4 NASB)

Over the years we come to appreciate character qualities in our spouse – those strengths within them that bless us and others. For example, they are very supportive and loyal to us. They are convincingly diligent about getting tasks completed. They are discerning and insightful, truthful and hospitable. Those are just a few of their many qualities.

Honoring our spouse’s character strengths is an important aspect of genuinely knowing him or her. Honoring our spouse this way has its focus more on who the person is than on what the person does.

Let us reflect on selected character qualities. Let us identify qualities that exemplify our spouse. Let us ask questions such as “is my spouse a content, creative, forgiving, or generous person?” and “do I appreciate his or her gratefulness, patience, resourcefulness, or self-control?”

Identifying our spouse’s strengths is often challenging, particularly if we’ve grown accustomed to focusing on complaints and criticisms. It challenges us to look beyond behaviours and actions and seek to more deeply know our spouse.

Here are two great ways to begin looking for partner strengths in our spouse:

• Let us identify some of our own limitations and see if God hasn’t blessed us with a partner who has compensating strengths.
• Let us remember some of what originally attracted us to our spouse – qualities such as being outgoing, sensitive, easy-going, fun loving, etc.
• Let us identify positive character strengths in our spouse, then speak words of praise when the two of us are alone together. Then, let us find other ways to praise one another. For example, let us send an appreciative note to each other at home or office or slip a special note into a suitcase or lunch box.
• Finally, let us share public praise. In the presence of others, let us voice our appreciation for our spouse’s character qualities.

ACTION ASSIGNMENT
What specific strengths and qualities can we privately and publicly praise our spouse for today?

PRAYER: Lord, help me to see the unique strengths within my spouse. In Jesus’ name Amen.