The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands. (Proverbs 14:1)

We’ve all heard the saying “if momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”. It’s seen to be true in many homes. When the momma is critical, or when she tears other people down with her words, we can see the negative attitude in the kids. Their conversations also sound negative or judgmental. By modeling such a critical spirit, it sometimes seems as if we are “pulling down” all the positive work we do with our kids.

To edify the ones in our home rather than tear them down, we must change our “stinkin’ thinkin’”. It’s hard to edify our spouse when our mind is consumed with thoughts such as I have to always pick up after him/her, when will he/she ever grow up or he/she will never change.

Such negative and critical thinking is usually the result of our unhealed hurts. When we’ve let hurts fester, the thoughts we have are going to be negative and critical. To be able to edify, we must, in love, share the truth of those hurts with our spouse. That would sound like “sweetheart, it would mean a lot to me if you could clean the bathroom by the time our guests arrive” or “I was disappointed that we weren’t able to have dinner together as a family. I know you were working very hard, but we missed you”.

Secondly, we must turn loose our anger and choose to forgive our spouse. It’s our choice of forgiveness that protects our heart from bitterness and our mind from negative thinking. Only then are we free to edify the ones we love.

ACTION ASSIGNMENT
What factors cause our mind to be filled with negative thoughts?

PRAYER: Father, help me to release my hurts so I can be a positive influence on my family. In Jesus’ name, amen.