We should serve in the newness of the Spirit. (Romans 7:6)

Mutual giving is one of the goals we work for in our ministry with couples. As each marriage partner finds freedom and motivation to serve the other, intimacy follows. Caring for another during life’s endless demands is what having a servant heart is all about. Caring for our spouse means serving him or her in daily life, not necessarily just in the “big things” that confront us.

We encourage couples to ask one another about their desires and wishes, to ask how they can better honour one another. We teach them to listen attentively to the answers they lovingly give.

Next, we might challenge the couple to talk about decisions. We tell them how important it is to communicate how they need and value one another’s opinions. Then we challenge them to talk about how they can better support one another in this area. This helps to bring more oneness and less tension into the decision-making process.

We also try to remind couples not to sweat the small stuff and to let one another make decisions and even mistakes. We encourage them to let him miss an exit off the highway or pick a restaurant with a long waiting line, or let her verbalize “wild” ideas without shooting them down.

Today’s scripture passage provides additional insight into a life of serving: it is that serving comes in “the newness of the Spirit”. Using a contrast with the bondage of law, Paul in essence speaks of fresh “evidence” of the Holy Spirit’s work we should expect. If the more internal evidence of the Spirit is such things as “love, joy, peace, patience” (Gal 5:22), then the external evidence might be seen in serving others.

Have we seen much evidence of the Holy Spirit in our marriage lately?

ACTION ASSIGNMENT
In what small, seemingly insignificant ways can you serve your spouse daily?

PRAYER: Father, free us for serving each other. In Jesus’ name, amen.