Do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. (Galatians 5:13)

In the beginning of our marriage, we fight over the most bizarre issues – like he always procrastinates things, she speaks the truth but not with love, he is not organised at doing chores, she is fault-finding always etc.

As we begin to explore the underlying issues prompting such criticisms, it becomes clear that we are “hiders”, meaning we were afraid to communicate our longings. We might have missed some things growing up from our parents like justified praise, unconditional love, acceptance and forgiveness, trust and faith from our parents, and so on. So instead of communicating these needs to one another, we wage petty wars.

As we seek help and counsel we progress towards health in our marriage, we slowly learn to offer grace to one another. Each of us begin to give without requiring the other to change. Each of us begin to serve the other without expectation.

We learn to sit and listen to each other. We listen to each other’s hopes and dreams for different things. We need to give undivided attention as our spouse shares their apprehension about different roles and new responsibilities. Then, we need to express verbally our appreciation for each other and not to take it for granted. We need to thank each other when we notice some positive changes our spouse makes.

We realise then that we had been waiting impatiently to receive, when God really wanted us to look for opportunities to serve one another. This leads to radical change in our thoughts, and it will produce radical changes in our marriage.

ACTION ASSIGNMENT
In what specific ways can we unconditionally serve our spouse today? What are the areas we need to honestly introspect ourselves and change for the better?

PRAYER: God show me today ways I might unconditionally serve my spouse. In Jesus’ name, amen.